The Fifth Wheel, Leo Valdez
by festus-nuggets
Summary: Everyone's favorite goddess of Love decides to spice things up for the Fifth Wheel on the ship, Leo Valdez. This takes place after Percabeth falls into Tartarus together.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the Percy Jackson series or it's characters. Or Heroes of Olympus for that matter. That belongs to rick riordan.**

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Aphrodite sat on her throne watching her favorite demi-gods sailing on their ways to the doors of death, through a one-way Iris message. She ran her fingers through her hair, which was now a sun kissed blonde. The message shifted from one demi-god to another. Piper and Jason were standing at the bow of the ship holding hands, looking up at the stars. They were naming all the constellations. Hazel was with Frank in one of the recreational rooms. They were cuddling with each other, talking about how they missed Camp Jupiter. The message shifted and showed the last demi-god on the ship.

Leo Valdez stood alone at the helm, fiddling with the controls. His mechanical bronze figurehead whirred and creaked. Leo sleepily rubbed his eyes and nodded. He pulled some machine oil out of his magical tool-belt and walked over to the dragon. He put oil on his hands and began to rub it into the dragon's cracks.

"There ya go, buddy," Leo smiled. He walked back to the helm to reprogram his dubstep soundboard. After a few moments, a small mahogany table walked up to Leo and nudged his leg. Leo looked down at the table, and tilted his head. One of the table drawers opened and inside was a can of Lemon Pledge, with extra moisturizing formula. Leo understood and brought out a clean cloth from his belt and began polishing the table.

When he finished, the table nudged his leg affectionately again and walked away. Leo sighed and continued on in his reprogramming work.

Aphrodite watched as he fell asleep at the controls. She may have been the goddess of love and beauty, but she wasn't air-headed or stupid, as most people assumed. Her godly mind quickly pieced together a plan to make Leo's love life a bit more interesting.

She summoned a pen and paper out of thin air, and wrote a note to the demi-gods aboard the Argo II. She folded the note into a neat little square, and put it on her lap.

"Eros!" she bellowed.

Her winged son appeared within an instant, and bowed before the goddess.

"Yes mother?" he asked.

" I have a job for you," she smiled.

* * *

Hazel left Frank to find Leo. One of the projections of Camp Half-Blood was malfunctioning. Although she had never been there in person, it sadden her to see on of the pictures was distorted.

She passed Jason and Piper in one of the halls. They were on their way to the dining hall to whip up a late night snack. They invited her but she politely refused.

She walked up on deck and shivered as a cold breeze washed over her. She walked to helm where Leo was slumped on the ground, with an arrow sticking out of his butt.

She might have laughed if Leo wasn't actually unconscious. Instead, she ran to the helm and pressed the intercom button and spoke into it. Her voice came out panicked and small but she got her message across.

"Uh, guys you need to get out here. Now."

Hazel rolled Leo over so he was face up. She studied his face, and his dark curls. It was odd seeing him not smiling or laughing. Hazel heard footsteps as everyone joined her.

"What's that taped to his chest?" Jason asked.

Hazel didn't even notice the small square note. She took it and unfolded it. Perfume wafted from it, and Hazel tried not to choke on it. The handwriting was cursive and practically perfect. It read:

_My dear favorite demi-gods,_

_The seventh wheel had become the fifth wheel. You'll thank me for this later._

_With lot's of love,_

_Aphrodite_

Everyone read the note in silence. One by one, everyone looked at Piper. She covered her face with her hands.

"Oh gods, I am so sorry guys. My mother-," she began.

"It's not your fault, Piper," Jason said.

Piper pressed her lips together. She didn't know what else to say.

"We should just get him down to the infirmary and remove the arrow there," Jason suggested. He looked at Frank. "Uh, do you think you could…"

Frank didn't look too happy about having to carry Leo, but he agreed to anyways.

Hazel and Piper followed Frank down to the infirmary with Leo. Jason told them that he would stay above deck to watch for any attacks.

Piper carefully removed the arrow from Leo's bottom and placed it on a table next to the cot he was laying on. Frank looked incredibly uncomfortable so Piper told him to go on watch with Jason. Frank nodded and left the room. Piper searched for ambrosia, and cursed in Greek. They hadn't restocked the infirmary with nectar or ambrosia yet.

"I have some in my room," Hazel said. "Frank knows where."

Piper nodded and ran off to find Frank.

A curl had fallen onto Leo's face and Hazel pushed it back. Slowly, his eyes opened. He blinked and focused on Hazel.

"Leo?" she said softly.

He sat up on the cot and rubbed his eyes.

"Leo what happened?" Hazel asked. It wasn't like him to not speak. Leo looked at Hazel then did something that shocked Hazel.

Leo grabbed both sides of Hazel's face and smashed his lips onto hers. Hazel's eyes were wide open. She pulled away from his kiss and stood. She began pacing and muttering. She fanned her face frantically, like she did when something like this happened. Like that time Percy and Annabeth "fell asleep" together in the stables.

Only then did she realize Frank was standing in the open doorway.

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**A/N: I write in really short chapters sorry, but other than that, tell how it is? comments? Suggestions? I'm open to ideas! thanks (: **


	2. Chapter 2

Hazel took Frank above deck to explain everything, while Piper and Jason talked to Leo.

Leo rubbed his eyes. "What's up guys?"

Piper stared at him. "Leo, what happened about five minutes ago?"

Leo frowned. "I…I don't know."

"Dude, you kissed Hazel," Jason said.

At the mention of Hazel's name, a dreamy expression overtook Leo's face. He gave a love struck smile. "Hazel. She's so pretty isn't she?"

Jason and Piper looked at each other. Jason gave Piper a questioning look, but Piper just shrugged.

"Maybe your mom put a spell on him," Jason suggested.

"Maybe," Piper said. She looked at Leo who was still daydreaming about Hazel. She looked at the arrow on the table next to the cot.

Slowly, she connected the dots. _He's in love with Hazel…. We found him with an arrow sticking from his bottom… my mother._

Piper gasped and snatched the arrow from the table. "Jason, go get the ambrosia that Frank ran off with." Jason nodded and left the room. Piper brought the arrow to her face and looked for the little inscribing. Sure enough, by the arrow fletching, there was a little inscription.

It read: ἔρως.

Piper dashed above deck and ran into Jason who was holding a little bag of ambrosia. He held it up for her but she shook her head.

"Meeting. Now."

* * *

They sat in the mess hall with Piper at the head of the table. She hated being center of attention, but no one else knew what happened to Leo.

Nico shuffled in and sat next to Jason. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and yawned. He had slept through the whole ordeal. Frank sat next to Hazel with their fingers laced. Leo sat across from them, leaning on the table with his elbow. He was glaring at Frank. Frank glared right back.

Piper handed Leo a square of ambrosia. Leo took it and nibbled on it. Everyone watched him expectantly.

He looked at everyone in turn, lingering on Hazel.

"What?" he asked.

Piper took a deep breath. "Does anyone know what this is?" She held up the arrow for everyone to see.

"It's an arrow," Frank said taking his eyes away from Leo. Leo shifted his gaze to Hazel, and waved at her. Hazel gave him a half-hearted wave and looked away.

"Yes, an arrow. But this isn't just an arrow. It's an arrow of Eros," Piper explained.

"Arrow of arrows?" Jason asked.

"No. Eros. Cupid to the Romans," Piper said suppressing a smile at Jason's comment. "Hazel, were you the first person Leo saw when you woke up?"

"Oh gods," Hazel muttered. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

Piper nodded. "I'm not sure how to fix it. Obviously the ambrosia didn't work. I could try charmspeaking him out of it."

Everyone nodded, except for Leo of course.

Piper looked directly at Leo and mustered as much charmspeak as she could. "Leo Valdez. You must stop being in love with Hazel Levesque."

Leo blinked. "Why?"

Piper tried again. "You have to."

Leo knit his eyebrows and pouted. "No. I love her."

Frank scooted closer to Hazel.

"I'm sorry guys. It's not working," Piper sat down. Jason rubbed her back comfortingly.

Hazel stood and walked to her room. She collapsed on her bed and buried her face in her pillow. She was confused. She loved Frank, but Leo was exactly like Sammy. Right down to the way he never stopped tapping his fingers or running his hands through his hair.

She knew that how he was acting was only caused my the love arrow, but she wondered that if he was acting like this out of his own will, would she return the feeling?

* * *

Piper sat alone with Leo in the mess hall. She was across from him at the dining table and she listened to him talk about Hazel.

"Her eyes are just so… and her hair is just… wow," Leo sighed dreamily.

Piper had an idea. She laced her fingers and leaned forward. "Leo… tell me about the Archimedes Spheres."

Leo blinked a few times then focused on Piper. "Oh my gods, aren't they amazing! The workman hip, the designs!"

Leo noticed Piper's confused gaze and laughed. "What's wrong Pipes?"

Piper didn't answer him. Instead she watched him put together a little metal robot and watched him quickly disassemble it. As Piper watched she formulated a plan.

She had to talk to her mother.

She left Leo tinkering and stepped into the ship's lavatory. She unsheathed Katoptris and prayed to Apollo that the blade would help her. She concentrated on the blade. The knifes smooth surface rippled and the visions began.

First it showed a column of smoke rising into the sky. Piper stood at the source of the smoke, eyes closed and arms spread wide. Her mouth moved fast, like she was chanting. She was standing on an island, alone with the smoke column. The scene changed and she saw a rushing river. The river looked normal enough, except for the fact that the water was pure black. Hazel stood next to the river, looking out over it. The blade rippled once again and Piper only saw her reflection. She sighed and sheathed her knife.

She knew one thing for sure: she would have to put together a sacrifice to her mother. But she would need something to burn, something that would appeal to her mom. Piper left the restroom and again took the seat across from Leo.

"Leo, can you steer us to the nearest city?" Piper asked.

Leo gave Piper a mischievous smile. "Sure."

* * *

Piper and Hazel walked around the small store grabbing all the makeup and perfume they could find. Frank trailed behind them carrying the shopping basket, which was weighed down with the beauty products.

"So, let me get this straight," Frank said readjusting the basket on his arm. "We're going to summon your mom by burning extremely flammable beauty products so she'll tell us how to get Leo to stop hitting on Hazel."

"Basically," Piper said, adding another bottle of perfume into the basket.

"Well, we can't do it on the ship," Frank said nervously. "If the ship catches fire, we won't have..."

Frank didn't want to bring up the friends that they had just lost. Every one aboard the Argo II did their best not to bring up the painful subject.

Hazel put a reassuring hand on Frank's arm. "Don't worry. We'll find a place were our surrounding won't catch on fire.

Piper added a small container of blush to the basket. "I think we have enough."

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**AN: Like I said I write pretty short chapters. Please review so I know if the story sucks or if I can improve, thanks (: **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN : SORRY I DON'T UPDATE OFTEN **

**I'm really busy with school, sports, and music. Hopefully my writing makes up for it. Enjoy! :) **

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Piper loaded all the makeup and perfume into an expensive coach handbag that she charmspeaked from a local mall. She felt guilty about just taking the bag, but what to be done, needed to be done.

She put the bag on the ground and retrieved a box of matches from her coat pocket. She struck a match and held it over the bag. She exhaled and dropped the match. At first, nothing happened. Piper took a step back. If she was right about this, the perfume would catch fire any second…

_BOOM_

A bottle of perfume exploded inside the bag. Smoke curled up from the bag, as more bottles exploded. Piper looked up at the Argo II to see all of the other demigods watching, except for Leo, whom they had locked in his room with the Archimedes sphere. He didn't put up a fight; he simply sat cross-legged on his floor tinkering.

Piper focused back on the bag, which was now engulfed in flames. Piper Threw wood and fresh green leaves onto the fire, to make the smoke more plentiful. Piper stepped forward and stood a few feet away from the smoke column. She threw in another stick and waited.

"Any minute now mom!" she yelled into the smoke.

Minutes passed and she stamped her foot in frustration. Where was Aphrodite? Piper was sure that the scent of makeup, perfume, and burning designer leather was strong enough. What was she missing? Her mother stood for beauty and love. Her sacred animal was a dove. But Piper was not going to strangle a dove and throw it into the fire. Piper was sure that she couldn't charmspeak her mom.

But she had to try.

"Mother, please, come down here and talk to me. I offer up in sacrifice makeup, perfume, and a designer handbag," she said looking up at the sky. Nothing answered. Piper pressed her hands to her temples. What could she do? "I really love Jason, mom. Do you know that? Of course you do, you're the goddess of love. It's hard being with him sometimes though. He so focused on the tasks at hand… which is good, I mean I would want him to stop in a battle to kiss me or anything but…"

Suddenly a warm breeze blew, engulfing Piper in the smoke. She covered her mouth and nose, trying not to breath in the smoke. She held her breath as long as she could, but she wasn't Percy. She needed air. She gasped for air, expecting the smoke to taste bitter and choke her.

Instead the smoke smelled sweet, like the perfume. The smoke didn't make her eyes sting. She felt perfectly fine. Piper stood in the smoke confused. Was her mom just making a dramatic entrance?

Piper frantically fanned the smoke, trying to dissipate it. Slowly, the smoke ebbed. Piper looked around, searching for her mother. The goddess was nowhere in sight. Piper furrowed her brows and crossed her arms. Where the hell was her mom?

Piper looked down at the offering and noticed something had been placed next to the bag. She stepped closer and realized it was a baby carrier. There was a not placed on top, which Piper took and opened.

_Sorry I couldn't make it down there, Piper_

_Hope he helps._

_Love, Mom_

"He?" Piper asked. She looked at the carrier and pulled back the blanket. A chubby pink baby was struggling against the carrier restraints. He looked at Piper pleadingly, but she wasn't about to let him out, not just yet. Piper sighed and picked up the baby carrier. She began walking toward the Argo II, which floated off the island by a few hundred feet.

She was about halfway through the walk when the baby poked her arm. Piper looked down at the baby and stared at it.

"What?" she demanded.

To her surprise, the baby answered her.

"Can you let me out?" The baby's voice was not that of a baby's. It sounded like a man. "Mother put a charm on the carrier so only you can open it, daughter of love."

With wide eyes, Piper placed the blanket back over the baby. She was pretty sure she knew who this was, but she refused to believe it. "If you want out, you better not say a word until I uncover you," she said in a low voice, the charmspeak layered on thick.

Piper stood at the waters edge and waved Jason down. He was standing ready, when Piper needed pickup. Piper saw his figure rise into the air and begin to fly towards her. Within a mater of minutes, Jason was carrying Piper bridal-style back towards the ship. Piper Held the carrier in her arms.

"Uh, Pipes," Jason said, the wind whipping his blonde hair, "What is that?" His eyes were trained on the covered baby.

"A _gift_, from my mother," Piper grumbled.

* * *

The demigods and Coach Hedge assembled in the mess hall, or as Leo began to call it, the situation room. Hazel stood in the hallway with Leo, waiting to bring him in when Piper called her.

Again Piper took the head of the table, even though she hated leading the meetings. In front of her on the table was the baby carrier.

"This better be good," Coach Hedge grumbled, "I'm missing mixed marshal arts for this."

Piper sighed. "Ok, I present to you, my mother's gift," Piper said, pulling the blanket off. The baby blinked, adjusting to the light.

"A… baby?" Frank leaned forward.

"God to you, Son of Mars," the baby crossed his arms.

"A god," Frank corrected himself with wide eyes.

The god nodded. "Now, sister release me!"

"Sister?" Nico asked.

Piper nodded. "This is my godly brother, Eros."

Eros' face contorted in pain. His image faded for a second. "Please, don't. I'm Cupid. My Greek counter part would not fit in this cursed carrier. Which is why you should let me out, sister."

Piper stared at the god. "If I let you out, you have to swear on the River Styx that you will help us cure our friend."

The god laughed. "Yes, I swear on the River Styx."

Piper nodded and unbuckled the god. She expected that she would need tremendous force to undo his restraints, but the buckle undid with a simple _click!_

Cupid shot his arms out, silently demanding to be picked up. Piper picked him up, discovering him to be nude. She sighed and placed him on the table. On his back were two small white folded wings.

"Hazel!" Piper called, "Bring Leo in!"

Hazel walked in with a flush face leading Leo by the hand. Leo wore a goofy smile on his face. She made him let go and walked over to Piper.

"He kept trying to kiss me," Hazel whispered, so only Piper could hear.

Piper chewed her lip. "Sorry," she muttered. Hazel nodded and took a seat. Leo tried to sit next to Hazel, but Piper motioned for him to come stand with her.

"Ok, so how do we fix him?" Piper asked Cupid, gesturing to Leo, who was starting lovingly at Hazel.

"One moment, I wish to change into my Greek form, if you don't mind," Cupid said, starting to transform.

"Close you eyes!" Piper yelled, squeezing her eyes shut, and covering Leo's eyes as well.

The light faded and Piper got an unpleasant view of Eros. He was still standing on the table. He was now a grown man now, rather than a baby. And he was still completely nude.

Hazel gasped and covered her eyes. Coach Hedge stood and left the room. He would rather watch grown men beat each other in a cage, than watch a grown man standing nude on a table. Jason looked at the floor and shifted uncomfortably. Frank and Nico were trying to comfort Hazel, and Leo was doing his best to not laugh, for the god was wearing a white sash with pink hearts.

Piper stared Eros right in the eye. He stretched and stepped down from the table. He pulled out a chair and leaned back comfortably.

"So how do we fix him?" Piper asked again.

"Oh, simple," Eros said, grabbing a grape from a bowl on the table. "You take him to the River Lethe, and rinse the puncture of my arrow. That will erase his memory of falling in love with the first person he saw when he woke up." Eros popped the grape into his mouth. "Could you not have figured this out on your own?"

Piper looked at her brother. "The River Lethe?"

"I know where it is," Nico said. "I went there with… Percy." The mood in the room dampened at the mention of the lost hero's name.

"Oh, and the person he loves must wash the wound, or else it will not work," Eros said. He suddenly stood. "I must be on my way now, mother is calling me back. Farewell sister."

Everyone closed their eyes as Eros changed into his true godly form. When the light ebbed Piper found Hazel still had wide eyes.

"What's wrong Hazel?" Piper asked.

She looked at Piper. "I have to wash Leo's butt. In a dangerous river that could erase my memory if I touch it's water."

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**AN: I'll try to update asap. **

**ps, I don't own PJO/HoO. That goes to Uncle Rick.  
**


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